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When we think of our phones in a traditional sense we think of the high tech, high resolution, fast processor lean mean machines that they have become. They’re great for keeping our lives organized and keeping us in touch with those around us. However, there are other functions that I feel are worth mentioning that might not be in the typical description for our phones.

This is just a silly list of alternative things that our phones can do for us in our everyday lives; I wanted to write a more light-hearted conversation piece for this round.

They make great companions

While dogs and cats make great companions as well, there are certain things you just can’t do with a pet that you can do with a phone. You can’t always take them into public places like restaurants and stores. You can’t change the way they look with a new fur and they don’t always send and retrieve messages as well as you might like for them to. When you get mad at your pet, you can’t throw them across the room at the wall, and you can’t yell at them without feeling bad. Phones make the best companions because you can passive aggressively take out whatever frustrations you have on it and it will still love you just the same.

Phones can make you look busy, even when you’re not

I’m pretty sure we’ve all used our phones as scapegoats at least once in our lives. That one annoying person you actively go out of your way to avoid somehow managed to finagle their way into a conversation with you again, and you have no other way of escaping it other than feeling the phantom vibrations of a cell phone that isn’t really ringing. “Sorry,” you tell them. “My mother’s second cousin’s cat is getting married in a half hour and I really must be going.” It will look totally legit because you had a real cell phone in your hands, and anybody who questions the legitimacy of the story obviously doesn’t know the importance of marriage in feline culture.

Phones keep us alert

And I don’t mean with alarms and notifications. Subconsciously, those of us with cell phones have developed a keen sixth sense that can detect whether our phone is near us or not. If I leave home without my phone, you can bet within 5 minutes I will gasp and say, “Oh no, my phone!” I reach for my phone for no reason at all, just to physically make sure that it’s still there in my pocket or in my purse. It’s almost like having an extra child around. Emily? Check. Sasha? Check. Joshua? Check. Siri?

“Yes Anna, what can I do for you?”

Check!

There's a whole lot of things that our phones can do for us that don't include texting and making phone calls. I take my phone with me everywhere, I use it as an excuse to get out of situations I don’t want to be in, and I’ve developed a sixth sense for it. What sort of odd uses have you been able to come up with that make your phone useful in non-traditional ways? Let me know in the comments!

 


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