The All New One is about the be all new granddaddy of missed opportunitiesAnna Scantlin - Contributing Editor
A rose is rose by any other name, or at least that's what they want you to think; however, when it comes to naming smartphones you're going to have a hard time trying to convince people to take your product seriously if you can't come up with a worthwhile name. It's something that tech giant HTC has already encountered, and likely something they're going to encounter again if the newest rumor regarding the M8's official market name. Have you heard about it? If you haven't, hold on to your seats because this name is surely going to blow you away: The All New One.
The All New One. The successor to the HTC One is going to be "The All New One". I haven't even really started getting into my rant and there's already so many things wrong with this name. It's not catchy, it's not classy, and above all it's not smart. My table lamp could come up with a better name than that.
Granted, it is just a rumor at this point. However, with the reported release date inching closer and closer I can't help but find myself getting a little nervous over it, not to mention the source (@evleaks). Maybe it's a February Fool's joke? Is that a thing somewhere in the world (like Taiwan) maybe? Well, hopefully it's just wrong then, because I seriously cannot imagine the HTC One's successor being called... that, and be taken seriously.
It's not like we haven't learned this lesson before from other manufacturers. Remember Apple's "New iPad"? No? That's because it's gone, all but wiped from existence, because nobody knew what anybody was talking about when a person tries to describe that they're using "The New iPad".
"Hey man, whatcha got there?"
"Bro, this is the New iPad."
"Oh yeah? Which one?"
"The New iPad."
"Yeah, but which one?"
"That's what it's called, 'The New iPad'!"
The conversation could have been a lot less confusing if:
"Hey man, whatcha got there?"
"The iPad 3."
"Oh sweet man, I heard a lot of good things about it."
The same thing is going to happen with The All New One if that's what it's going to be called. What happened to the HTC One, or the HTC Two? Heck, I'd even take the HTC One 2 if this is the alternative. Color me irrational because I know I kind of am right now, but I am seriously confused as to why this is even a possibility laid out on the table. Did nobody think that once this is no longer The All New One that it's going to be even harder to explain to people? You can't tell people you're using The All New One two years later when it's clearly The All Old One at that point. It's an awkward name, it won't make sense by this time next year, and it doesn't even roll off the tongue.
I know HTC has had a bad track record with names, but I thought we were past all of that. We moved on from that with the One last year - don't screw this up! The HTC One has so many great opportunities for clever successor names, and if this truly is the new name for the 2014 flagship I'm afraid I'm going to have to question some of HTC's other decisions as well. Not really, a great device is a great device (which hopefully the M8 will be), but come on. Didn't anybody watch Titanic?
"Listen, HTC. You're gonna get out of here, you're gonna go on and you're gonna make lots of successors, and you're gonna watch them grow. You're gonna die an old... an old millionaire rolling in the riches of your success, not here, not this night. Not like this, do you understand me?" - Jack Dawson
Okay, maybe the scene was a little different, but the quote could still apply. There has to be another name. I just hope this will all only ever escalate to rumor status, and when the M8 releases it will have a wonderful, pleasant name to say whenever we talk about it.
What are your thoughts, readers? Do you think the M8 will be looked at any differently if it has a name like The All New One, or do you think that it won't really matter in the end? Share your thoughts with us regarding this rumor in the comments below!